| Inthachith-Fenske wedding engagement ceremony BUDDHA BLESS US |
| By Heidi M. Pascual The Laotian community of Madison shared a special part of its culture when Larry Fenske asked for the hand of Christine Nom Inthachith in a wedding engagement ceremony at Madison's Warner Park Community and Recreation Center Feb. 19. I was told that the date and time set for the engagement and the wedding itself were astrologically auspicious. Since the number nine is the most significant number in the Lao culture, the ceremony was held on the second month of the year, on the second millenium, and the millenium's fifth year (which totals nine); there were nine Buddhist monks; nine gold coins as part of the Kha dong (dowry given to the future wife or to her parents; and the ceremony was sheduled at 9 a.m. To Laotians, nine represents long life and an enduring marriage. The color red, believed to bring good luck, was also prominent in the gift wrappings, ribbons, tablecoths, and other room decor. As people in colorful native costumes entered the ceremonial hall, they greeted one another with a nop -- their palms together as in prayer, at chest level but away from the body. I learned that the higher the hand, the greater the respect accorded the person or persons being greeted. |
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| People bowed slightly as they put their palms together. Some, however, shook hands, as in traditional Western greeting. Noticeable was the role elders played, from the start to the end of the ceremony. They occupied center stage, so to speak. They seemed to direct people in what to do and what to say in respect to the ritual's requirements. Respected couples in the Laotian and Thai communities who are known for their successful marriages were also present to assist the bride- and groom-to-be, Christine and Larry, in performing the ceremony perfectly. Their additional role is to guide and counsel the future husband and wife. Seated on floor rugs and mats arranged for the occasion in front of nine Buddhist monks were the bride-to-be, Christine, with her family and relatives, and close friends. Christine's hair was gathered into a high, clean, and tight bun, called Kao phom; she wore a Laotian costume with a blue and red sash. A Pha Khouan (tree decorated wtih flowers and money) and bowls of rice, fruits, and other food items, and gifts wrapped in colorful boxes were placed in the center of the participants to symbolize offerings for the spirits, so that the forthcoming marriage of Christine and Larry would be happy and successful. Upon an elder's direction, Larry, accompanied by close friends and relatives, entered the ceremonial hall carrying flowers and a lighted candle. He was met at the door by members of Christine's family, who asked a series of questions to make sure that his intentions were pure and true. It was, of course, scripted for the occasion, but it gave us a glimpse of how traditional engagement ceremonies are performed in Laos. Larry was then brought to his place by the bride-to-be, Larry's family came with gifts and joined Christine's family. Then an elder took threads from the Pha Khouan, recited good wishes for the couple, and tied the threads around the wrists of the couple. This wrist-tying rite, called Phuk Ken, was also done by other participants seated with the couple. The monks individually and collectively prayed and then chanted to bless the couple and their families and guests. When the appropriate moment came, Larry put an engagement ring on Christine's left ring finger, Christine's family nodded in agreement, and the elders began another round of blessing and prayers. Christine and Larry and their families, facing the monks, bowed their heads to the floor and came up with their palms together and eyes closed in prayer. After the ceremony, the Buddhist community members in attendance lined up with bowls containing material gifts and offerings as the monks walked by to accept them. After the monks' leader blessed the attendees with holy water, everyone was invited to dine with the couple. Christine and Larry are now ready to unite in marriage. They have been blessed by Buddha's followers. |