Debby Tewes’ column
Social Barriers to Reporting Domestic Abuse for Women of Color in the U.S.
Social Barriers to Reporting Domestic Abuse for Women of Color in the U.S.
By Debby Tewes
Battering and physical violence is something that crosses cultural lines but because of the cultural norms
and structures built into the backgrounds of various ethnic groups, how it is perceived and dealt with in
those groups can vary greatly. For recent immigrants and especially those that come here perhaps as
refugees from brutal wars or repressive and genocidal regimes, there is a built in fear of those in their
homeland who wielded positions of authority; including the police and governmental agencies. Often these
authority figures were same people who were killing or brutalizing them in their homelands. Depending on
the circumstances of the immigration, the abused woman may not even have legal status in the US and
thus fears the authorities for an even greater reason, as deportation is a worse evil than the one that she
endures at home. With the recent upsurge in paranoia aimed at immigrants and an almost vigilante
mentality of some citizens, there are serious concerns about contacting law enforcement within these
ethnic communities.
The wide cultural diversity and mingling of many ethnic groups; both Asian and non Asian has provided
some unique challenges to law enforcement agencies as well as women’s support groups to provide
culturally sensitive help. It is a struggle to encourage victims to come forward and report the abuse before
it results in physical harm or worse, death. Much depends on the length of time that the groups had been
Battering and physical violence is something that crosses cultural lines but because of the cultural norms
and structures built into the backgrounds of various ethnic groups, how it is perceived and dealt with in
those groups can vary greatly. For recent immigrants and especially those that come here perhaps as
refugees from brutal wars or repressive and genocidal regimes, there is a built in fear of those in their
homeland who wielded positions of authority; including the police and governmental agencies. Often these
authority figures were same people who were killing or brutalizing them in their homelands. Depending on
the circumstances of the immigration, the abused woman may not even have legal status in the US and
thus fears the authorities for an even greater reason, as deportation is a worse evil than the one that she
endures at home. With the recent upsurge in paranoia aimed at immigrants and an almost vigilante
mentality of some citizens, there are serious concerns about contacting law enforcement within these
ethnic communities.
The wide cultural diversity and mingling of many ethnic groups; both Asian and non Asian has provided
some unique challenges to law enforcement agencies as well as women’s support groups to provide
culturally sensitive help. It is a struggle to encourage victims to come forward and report the abuse before
it results in physical harm or worse, death. Much depends on the length of time that the groups had been
in the US and how they have assimilated into the culture, many still retaining some of the old world sensibilities. It also is noted that
success and the accumulation of wealth impacts how families are perceived in their communities. Accumulation of wealth is typically the
purview of the family patriarch and women are often subordinate, at least in first generation families. Because of language barriers,
women will often defer to the men and will work to support him either in a family business or the job of keeping a home and children. Most
of the Asian Pacific American (APA) groups are patriarchal in nature and elders are revered. In some Asian cultures, marriages are still
arranged. This may have worked in the old country but America is a very different culture with outside pressures that don’t exist in the old
world from which the families came.
Because of language difficulties and little knowledge of the US Legal system, along with a healthy dose of certain racial insensitivity on
the part of the investigative teams here, APA victims can be victimized twice. The Hmong people have endured several generations of
cultural clashes in dealing with spousal abuse that they are loathe to report as the women are told it must be dealt with within the
patriarchal clan system.
success and the accumulation of wealth impacts how families are perceived in their communities. Accumulation of wealth is typically the
purview of the family patriarch and women are often subordinate, at least in first generation families. Because of language barriers,
women will often defer to the men and will work to support him either in a family business or the job of keeping a home and children. Most
of the Asian Pacific American (APA) groups are patriarchal in nature and elders are revered. In some Asian cultures, marriages are still
arranged. This may have worked in the old country but America is a very different culture with outside pressures that don’t exist in the old
world from which the families came.
Because of language difficulties and little knowledge of the US Legal system, along with a healthy dose of certain racial insensitivity on
the part of the investigative teams here, APA victims can be victimized twice. The Hmong people have endured several generations of
cultural clashes in dealing with spousal abuse that they are loathe to report as the women are told it must be dealt with within the
patriarchal clan system.
Debby Tewes
This certainly is not limited to Southeast Asian cultures and very recently, there have been a number of high profile men who have
been caught in embarrassing situations and made some spectacularly salacious headlines. There is however, reluctance in Asian
cultures to discuss personal issues with outsiders for fear of reprisal and shame brought on the family. There were many traditions in the
Hmong homelands for instance, that were misunderstood early in their first waves of immigration, including very early marriage and
“kidnapping” a bride. It was hard for law enforcement to understand the customs until they took training in Hmong culture and brought
Hmong speakers into the legal- judicial system.
To further terrorize APA women, there are the traditional gangs that operate prostitution rings and pornographic movie studios. The
Yakuza in Japan and the Triad from mainland China have a long criminal history in the US and their homelands. These gangs have
helped perpetuate the myth of the all- powerful masculine dominance of male over female. For these gangs, women were commodities to
be traded in and profited from. Just recently, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported the arrest of a multi- state Hmong gang, Menace of
Destruction. While Hmong community members are willing to provide evidence, they are reluctant to speak publicly for fear of reprisal
and shame in the community. Violence and crime victimize everyone from the actual victims to the communities in which they occur.
The Hmong community in Milwaukee was also recently rocked by the news that a man, who heads up a local social service agency,
receiving federal funds to combat domestic abuse, was himself an abusive husband. The case has yet to be heard but an article in a
local paper reported he attempted to cut a deal with the clan elders of his wife’s clan. In exchange for her dropping the abuse charges,
he would not contest the divorce. To their credit, the elders declined the deal and reported the contact to the
been caught in embarrassing situations and made some spectacularly salacious headlines. There is however, reluctance in Asian
cultures to discuss personal issues with outsiders for fear of reprisal and shame brought on the family. There were many traditions in the
Hmong homelands for instance, that were misunderstood early in their first waves of immigration, including very early marriage and
“kidnapping” a bride. It was hard for law enforcement to understand the customs until they took training in Hmong culture and brought
Hmong speakers into the legal- judicial system.
To further terrorize APA women, there are the traditional gangs that operate prostitution rings and pornographic movie studios. The
Yakuza in Japan and the Triad from mainland China have a long criminal history in the US and their homelands. These gangs have
helped perpetuate the myth of the all- powerful masculine dominance of male over female. For these gangs, women were commodities to
be traded in and profited from. Just recently, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported the arrest of a multi- state Hmong gang, Menace of
Destruction. While Hmong community members are willing to provide evidence, they are reluctant to speak publicly for fear of reprisal
and shame in the community. Violence and crime victimize everyone from the actual victims to the communities in which they occur.
The Hmong community in Milwaukee was also recently rocked by the news that a man, who heads up a local social service agency,
receiving federal funds to combat domestic abuse, was himself an abusive husband. The case has yet to be heard but an article in a
local paper reported he attempted to cut a deal with the clan elders of his wife’s clan. In exchange for her dropping the abuse charges,
he would not contest the divorce. To their credit, the elders declined the deal and reported the contact to the
authorities. Unfortunately, for obscure reasons
that were vaguely described as an “inability to
find an unbiased translator,” the domestic
abuse charges were dropped and the wife
agreed, reluctantly, to a lesser charge of
disorderly conduct because the children who
witnessed the alleged abuse would have had
to testify against their father. The charges have
resulted in the loss of grant money to combat
domestic violence and will most likely
continue to do so as the person has maintained
his position as head of the agency.
Until everyone is willing to speak out and
protect themselves and their friends and
neighbors our communities will continue to be
places we fear to walk and let our children
play. Not to sound like a dinosaur, but my
parents never worried about whether my
brother and I were safe. We had a network of
neighborhood moms who collectively kept an
eye on the kids. In the evenings the fathers
were out in the yards doing chores and usually
knew where we were. Of course, now most
moms must work outside of the home but
should never have to fear coming home
themselves. Nor should they have to worry that
their children are safe during the day. With
even a whiff of suspicion, the community
agency should seek new leadership and
perhaps even consider one of the female
leaders in the community?
Until the world realizes that women are as
valuable to the human race as the male
members and with an education and equal
rights under the laws of their lands, we will
never fully realize what we as a people can
accomplish. Women now are earning a
significant part of the typical family income and
this too can cause discord if the income
surpasses the man’s.
Women are entitled to a safe environment in
their homes. The house is their place of refuge
and safety away from the noise of the world
outside. Boys must be taught from the time that
that were vaguely described as an “inability to
find an unbiased translator,” the domestic
abuse charges were dropped and the wife
agreed, reluctantly, to a lesser charge of
disorderly conduct because the children who
witnessed the alleged abuse would have had
to testify against their father. The charges have
resulted in the loss of grant money to combat
domestic violence and will most likely
continue to do so as the person has maintained
his position as head of the agency.
Until everyone is willing to speak out and
protect themselves and their friends and
neighbors our communities will continue to be
places we fear to walk and let our children
play. Not to sound like a dinosaur, but my
parents never worried about whether my
brother and I were safe. We had a network of
neighborhood moms who collectively kept an
eye on the kids. In the evenings the fathers
were out in the yards doing chores and usually
knew where we were. Of course, now most
moms must work outside of the home but
should never have to fear coming home
themselves. Nor should they have to worry that
their children are safe during the day. With
even a whiff of suspicion, the community
agency should seek new leadership and
perhaps even consider one of the female
leaders in the community?
Until the world realizes that women are as
valuable to the human race as the male
members and with an education and equal
rights under the laws of their lands, we will
never fully realize what we as a people can
accomplish. Women now are earning a
significant part of the typical family income and
this too can cause discord if the income
surpasses the man’s.
Women are entitled to a safe environment in
their homes. The house is their place of refuge
and safety away from the noise of the world
outside. Boys must be taught from the time that
they are little themselves that one must never hit or hurt anyone else. While women are most often the victims of domestic violence, I
know that there are battered men also. The lesson of respect and non violence is one that needs to be taught from the time a boy or girl is
old enough to understand the lesson. It’s a lesson that must be learned before they start school and hopefully they don’t learn the lesson of
abusive behavior in the home. Keep in mind that as the saying goes, “the fruit never falls far from the tree.”
know that there are battered men also. The lesson of respect and non violence is one that needs to be taught from the time a boy or girl is
old enough to understand the lesson. It’s a lesson that must be learned before they start school and hopefully they don’t learn the lesson of
abusive behavior in the home. Keep in mind that as the saying goes, “the fruit never falls far from the tree.”