Marriage (dating) between races
By Paul Kusuda

     In June, thoughts turn to love, so some people say. For a number of couples, June brings not only thoughts of
love, but also the ceremony called marriage. In a homogeneous society, considerations as to race are not a factor
for consideration; however, when people of different characteristics marry, heads turn and talk begins — sometimes
biting and cruel.
    Interracial dating and marriage are obvious when one or the other of a couple is visibly different. Unfortunately,
similar disdain, dislike, curiosity or other responses result when not-so-visible differences are present as well. Those
include socio-economic, height or weight, caste, physical disability, or other differences. Same-sex relationships
also receive unwanted attention. Unfortunate? Yes, and sometimes understandable, but seldom truly acceptable.
On June 12, 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court reversed a Virginia statute that barred Whites from marrying non-Whites.
That decision simultaneously overturned similar laws in 15 other states. Chief Justice Earl Warren delivered the
Court’s decision, noting that the Virginia law violated the equal protection and due process clauses of the 14th
Amendment.
    That was only 41 years ago. To me, it’s “only” because I had been close friends with, or dating, non-Asians years
before that. The June 1967 case was Loving vs. State of Virginia which involved Richard Loving, a White, and his
wife Mildred Jeter, an African American. They went through difficult times and had to endure much. Legally
married in Washington, D.C., they returned to Virginia to live. They were charged with violating Virginia’s ban on
interracial marriage, pleaded guilty in 1959, and were sentenced to one year in jail. The sentence was suspended
for 25 years on the condition that the couple leave the state and not return. They moved to Washington, D.C. and in
1963 began legal actions to vacate the motion and set aside the sentence. Following a series of court actions, the
final decision came.
    As a result, Americans are now allowed racially-mixed marriages (miscenegation). It’s no wonder that the Loving
vs. Virginia case is called a landmark case. The U.S population has been changing considerably since then.
Children resulting from interracial marriages comprise about seven percent of the population describing themselves
as multiracial. Today, people who have spouses of a different race probably don’t even realize that Loving vs. State
of Virginia turned out to be a class-action suit so important to changing the demographic scene in the U.S.
Only 41 years ago? To many, that’s a long time ago – more than a generation. But for me, it’s “only” because in
1948-1949, I had many non-Asian friends in Chicago. I went out with them. We were fellow friends and fellow
students at the university. Whether male or female, whether couples or in a group, we went out without thinking of
race differences.
    At the time (and this was before Loving vs. Virginia, of course), no one looked twice on campus at interracial
couples walking around together. Off campus, casual looks and sometimes remarks, occurred. A White female
student and I went to downtown Chicago’s Berghoff Restaurant a couple of times. We got a few looks from some
people who were probably surprised to see a White girl with an Asian boy. Such looks appeared to be mostly
curiosity-fueled glances, not stares or glares. We barely noticed them and just went on prattling away.
When Peggy (an African American) and I went to Berghoff’s Restaurant, we also found people looking at us. There
were also stares; some glares, hostile. We were slightly uncomfortable, but we went more than once because the
food and service were good. We also went to a place on Chicago’s south side that was operated by a Japanese
couple and served tasty Asian food. There, some of the other diners looked at us, but not with any hostility. We ate
at south side Chicago places that had mostly African American diners. There, no one paid any attention to us. They
weren’t even curious.
    Peggy and I were good friends, even though we’ve lost touch with each other after I moved away from Chicago
in 1950. I met Peggy’s mother when she visited Chicago while Peggy and I were university students. I don’t
remember what kind of work she did, but I do remember that she was an expert at sewing. She told me that
whenever I mended, I should avoid using thread longer than five or six inches. Well, I just didn’t go along with that
kind of idea. I generally used a thread that’s at least a foot long. I never did tell Peggy’s mother that. Instead, I just
said, “Uh-huh, uh-huh.”
    When Peggy met my parents in their southside Chicago apartment, that was the first time she had ever met a
Japanese. She did really well in talking with my mother whose English was not too good, and my father whose
English was much better. Both of my parents were not surprised or curious. Our meeting was very short, so there was
no period of uncomfortable silence. Afterwards, they both said Peggy was a very nice girl, not a new notion to me.
We didn’t talk about marriage. I just wanted Peggy to meet my parents.
    Peggy and I agreed that we wouldn’t even think about marriage; we knew that we would not want children to live
in two different worlds. We were good friends, we liked each other’s company, but we didn’t even kiss; although she
did kiss me on the cheek a couple of times when she left town to visit her boyfriend. Kind of a strange relationship, I
thought later. We must have been more than aware of social conditions. Neither of us has any regrets. She married
an African American whom she knew before she and I got to know each other, and I married Atsuko more than 55
years ago. Atsuko and I still use the toaster Peggy gave us as a wedding present.
    Peggy, Atsuko and I were in the same work group at a welfare agency where I worked for about six months after I
got my graduate degree. We had the same section supervisor. We worked well together with the rest of the team.
The most important thing is how Loving vs. Virginia will have continuing effects in generations to come. We already
know the effect on our children. What about our children’s children?
Atsuko (l) and Paul Kusuda
have been happily married
for more than 55 years